


We Are Broken

by acercrea



Series: Broken Apart, But Whole Together [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Anniversary of Claudia's death, Fluff, Grief/Mourning, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 15:34:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13743957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acercrea/pseuds/acercrea
Summary: Stiles had a really bad day and Derek just wants to be there for him. Turns out that both of them may be broken in the same way.





	We Are Broken

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Hello Teen Wolf fandom. This is my first foray into writing for your universe, but I have been orbiting around the Sterek sun for almost a year and a half. I totally blame Tumblr for my even finding TW, and there are no casual fandoms on that site.
> 
> The title comes from We are Broken by Paramore, and while I was listening to this song a lot while writing this, it doesn’t really have anything to do with the lyrics, more the feeling the music inspires. You will see what I mean.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own anything Teen Wolf related, I am just having fun with the characters, anything you recognize isn’t mine.

Click [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcckFDk9RQo) if you want to hear the song while you read.

 

“You know, this hiding in my room and waiting for me to come home thing that you have been doing when I come home to visit would be kind of creepy if it were anyone else,” Stiles commented as he flicked on his light and found Derek sitting on the end of his bed.

“I wanted to check on you, but I didn’t want to make a big deal in front of the others. I know what today is,” Derek commented carefully watching Stiles’ back as he walked to the desk and started to deliberately empty his pockets, one item at a time, his wallet, his phone, a pair of earbuds, a couple of pieces of paper, a pen from his shirt pocket that he absently clicked a couple of times as it made its way to the desk.

Stiles didn’t speak until he had run out of items, his hands moving to rest on the top of his desk chair after patting his pockets to make sure he had gotten everything, his shoulders tight and pushed up to his earlobes. “I’m fine, Derek. It is just another Friday, so you can go now,” he requested with an air of forced nonchalance.

“Stiles, I don’t need my super human hearing to know that you are lying. We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want, but I’m not leaving you like this,” Derek responded as he cautiously got up and crossed the room to stand behind him. Slowly, Derek reached out and wrapped his arms around Stiles’ waist, releasing a breath he didn’t realize he was holding when the younger man relaxed into his embrace and placed his hands on top of Derek’s. Derek enveloped Stiles as he melted, pulling him closer to his chest and resting his head on Stiles’ shoulder. “You might not want to admit it, but you need someone tonight. And even if we weren’t the increasingly confusing thing that we are, I know what you are going through. I just want to help, so let me know what you need me to do,” Derek urged, lacing their fingers together and nuzzling into his neck.

Stiles let out a shaky breath, turning his head, searching for Derek’s lips. The kiss was hard and hot, the burn in sharp contrast to the previous moment of tender surrender. Derek was swept away in the passion, groaning when Stiles turned in his arms, those long fingers coming up to tangle in his hair, bodies pressing together and tongues sparring in each other’s mouth, Derek losing all train of conscious thought as he always did when Stiles kissed him like this, the sensation overwhelming him entirely.

Stiles moved away from his mouth, both of them breathing heavily, as he trailed kisses over Derek’s soft scruff down to his neck, hands wandering down to grab Derek’s ass, grinding their hips together. Derek came back to his senses as Stiles reached for the hem of the older man’s shirt, grabbing his hands to still them, and angling his head to look Stiles in the eye. “Are you sure? Not that this isn’t a great coping mechanism, and I’m on board, but I am totally ok with talking if that is what you need. I have been told that broad shoulders are the best for crying into. Lots of real estate,” Derek joked, concern in his blue-green eyes as he brought a hand up to cup Stiles’ cheek gently.

“Not tonight,” Stiles replied, resting his forehead on Derek’s, taking a deep breath as he ran his hands up Derek’s stomach under his shirt, feeling the warm muscle shift under his touch. “Tonight, I want you to make me forget everything I have ever known,” Stiles requested, his burning eyes challenging Derek as he started to move his hands up farther, silently requesting permission to take the shirt off and finish what they had started.

Derek exhaled shakily, moving his other hand up, so he was holding Stiles’ face in both hands, pressing their lips together gently, drinking him in slowly, languidly enjoying the feel of perfect, plump lips beneath his own. Stiles practically whimpered when Derek opened his mouth, his tongue slipping out to meet Derek, the gentle whisper ramping up toward the previous fervor but still nowhere near what Stiles wanted. Derek pulled back, looking into Stiles’ eyes, searching for something he must have found, because he uttered one word before his eyes started burning to mirror Stiles’. “Ok.”

*~*

It wasn’t until they were done and had moved to the shower to rinse off that Stiles finally broke, powerful sobs rocking his body as Derek held him under the spray, his grief almost a tangible thing in the small, steamy room. Once the tears slowed and finally stopped, Derek cleaned Stiles with care, whispering affirmations of love and pressing chaste kisses into his skin as he scrubbed, taking extra care as he massaged the shampoo into Stiles’ scalp, trying to pull all of the tension he could out of Stiles, before quickly washing himself.

Stiles was silent as Derek dried them off and pulled PJ bottom’s out of Stiles’ dresser for both of them, waving Derek off when he looked like he was going to try to dress Stiles, pulling on his own PJ’s as Derek did the same before they climbed into bed and instantly melted into each other, Stiles curled on his side so he could sprawl half on top of Derek, using his shoulder as a pillow. Derek pressed a kiss to the top of Stiles’ head as he hugged him close before running his hand absently up and down Stiles back the way he knows the younger man likes.

They lay in silence for a while before Stiles broke the silence, whispering, “Thank you, Derek.”

“What for?” Derek hummed softly, lacing his fingers with the hand that was draped over Derek’s chest.

“For tonight, for distracting me, for letting me fall apart and then putting me back together when distraction didn’t work, for everything you have ever done for me. For understanding why I am upset and not pressuring me to talk about it. For allowing me to be the broken one in this relationship for once,” Stiles teased, bringing their twined fingers to his lips to press a kiss to Derek’s knuckles.

“Hey, I’m working on it, ok? I am much less broken now than when we met,” Derek grumbled with a pout.

“Relax, I’m just kidding,” Stiles responded, reaching up to press a soft kiss to Derek’s lips.

“Uh-huh. You’re lucky you are cute,” Derek chuckled.

They settled into silence for a few more moments, Derek thinking that Stiles was going to fall asleep this time when he started talking again

“This was the worst anniversary since that first one. I had a thought that really messed with my head,” Stiles spoke softly, curling into Derek even further, basically clinging to him.

“Yeah?” Derek responded, trying not to pressure him, knowing Stiles would tell him if he was ready to.

“Well, mom died when I was nearly 10, and I am 20 now. So, this was the first anniversary where the balance of my life has tipped. My mom has been dead for more of my life than she was alive. It hit me like a ton of bricks; I just started to think about all of the things she never got to see me do, never will see me do, wondering if she would be proud of the man I am becoming; then I found out that dad had to work, thought I would be alone tonight, and I got buried in a particularly vicious thought spiral. Is that stupid?” Stiles questioned.

“No, it isn’t stupid. I do that too. Wonder what she thinks of the mess I’ve made. There were a couple of years where looking back I know she wouldn’t have been happy with me. But I think she would be ok with my life now. I may not have everything figured out, but I have people I trust again, I was able to move back to Beacon Hills after losing not one but two packs, and, most importantly, despite the fact it may be a little unorthodox by normal standards, I have made myself a new family. Which might be why we have been so complicated. It has been hard reconciling you changing from annoyance that came with a new pack member I didn’t want, to becoming my anchor, to growing into a brother and partner in crime, to this warm fuzzy feeling that I get whenever I think of you. I legitimately panic a bit when I think about doing something stupid and losing you. You are far and away the best thing I have and you make me feel, for the first time since I was 15, that I am not completely shattered on the inside. Like all of my broken pieces can be fixed,” Derek confessed, pressing another kiss to the top of Stiles’ head.

It was quiet for a moment before Stiles spoke softly, “Hey Derek?”

“Yeah Stiles?” he asked.

“I love you too. I know you didn’t say it and the fact that I am away at college complicates things, but I have been in love with you for so long and I blame the day for getting the courage to finally say this, but I love you so much it scares me too, but in the best way, and-” Stiles’ rambling was cut short when Derek leaned down and pressed their lips together, pouring every ounce of feeling he had at hearing those words back into the man who inspires him to feel that way.

“I love you,” Derek breathed against Stiles’ lips when he pulled away. “I love that you know what I mean when I don’t know how to say it, I love that you let me in when I don’t make it easy, I love that you seem to see all of the things I try to hide because I am ashamed of the darkness I see in myself, and I love that you see someone who is worthy of sharing your light because you are beautiful in a radiant, blinding way. But most of all, I love that you know me better than anyone else does and you love me back anyways,” Derek chuckled, brushing Stiles’ hair out of his face.

The moment was interrupted when Derek yawned hugely, causing Stiles to laugh and say, “Geez Derek, it is 1 in the morning, stop being so mushy, I am trying to sleep over here,” his eyes already closed as he wriggled closer to Derek’s chest.

“Shut up, I already know you love me,” Derek replied, closing his own eyes.

“Always,” Stiles whispered, feeling himself already drifting off.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: That’s it. I know it has very little to do with the song that the title comes from, but again, I was just going for the emotion I felt in the music.
> 
> And I have a confession. There wasn’t originally a cut after Derek gives in, and I even wrote most of the smut that was supposed to follow, but I didn’t feel it went with the end half, I felt that you kind of get tonal whiplash, would that something that you guys want to read? Honestly it will almost double the length, but I could add a second chapter to this that includes the part that I cut or do it as a stand-alone so I don’t have to change the rating. Let me know in comments if you want to see that, or if you think it is fine the way it is. 
> 
> Also leave me a Kudos if you liked it, it is my first Sterek, but I have been toying with them for about a year now. If you want to you can also find me on Tumblr @acercrea.


End file.
